Sunday, August 17, 2014

About me;

The Suburban life is a humorous narration about my life, living in Suburban Dayton, Ohio,
(Bellbrook) a place I live in not entirely by choice, but by default. I like to drink, entertain, obsess, write about my 4+ cats and of course, about the funny, ridiculous things that happen to me on this little journey called life. My goal is make people laugh, and think about things in new ways.

Some things I am passionate about; alcohol, food, spending money, trying to get a hot body,
and conspiring new ways to make money while sitting on my ass.

My hobbies include gardening, laboring away, under the slightly plausible delusion that I am awesome enough to dethrone Martha Stewart as a domestic Goddess.
I make jelly, homemade soaps, and grow my own tea.
I believe that a woman should be a chef in the kitchen, a lady in public and a WHORE
in the bedroom, and I also believe that somewhere, there is a lonely, gorgeous doctor with a big fat bank account, just waiting to find me to be his sex-slave/dotting housewife. (Everybody needs a dream, don't judge me.) This dream is seriously a refreshing frequent interruption in my mundane daily life.I enjoy watching ridiculous Youtube videos, reading Craiglist personals and laughing til I nearly pee myself. I also live for those lazy mornings when I can go on a little adventure of Drunk Shopping at the Greene. I love food a little more than I love the gym, which I'm working on, because, interestingly enough, I also love posing for nude photos. It's invigorating. You should try it.I have four cats, which are basically my children, and am working on taming a wild kitten that was an only-child, and his mother has since weaned him, (he's 4 months) and moved on to a life of shameless whoring around the neighborhood with multiple babies daddies, trying to populate all of Bellbrook. It is my sole duty to tame him, and show him the lavish, extravagantly spoiled life that exists beyond my patio door.

My mother was a free-spirited, tree-hugging hippie, and I am learning to embrace that I was

made in her image. I am so much like her; organic gardening, against the mainstream way of life, and kind of a Buddhist.
I was raised primarily in the South; Louisiana, Tennessee, and Mississippi but
ironically, because of my mother's Ohio roots, I have a Midwestern accent which
is one of my many lots in life. I consider myself a southern girl at heart.

I look forward to sharing my exciting (lol) daily life, the adventures that come my way,
my obsessions, neurosis and of course, lots of laughs.